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How to Help

Helping tips

Suppose you are concerned and want to reach out to a mate – what then?

REACH OUT … GIVE SUPPORT … GET HELP

These Helping Tips provide some suggestions on what you can do.

Pay attention

  • Read signs of concern
  • Trust your hunches
  • Take any talk of suicide seriously

Show respect

  • Try to understand
  • Be yourself
  • Take them seriously

Reach out

  • Show you care
  • Tell them what you noticed
  • Take time to listen

Check it out

  • Say things like ”lately I’ve noticed…”
  • Ask others what they’ve noticed
  • If in doubt check it out

Give support

  • Let them talk
  • Explore other options
  • Build realistic hope
  • Get more support (eg family, mates, counsellors, crisis lines)

Ask about suicide

  •  If concerned, ask directly “Are you thinking of suicide?”

Get help

  • Don’t leave if there’s a risk of suicide
  • Remove available means of harm
  • Know your limits ... involve others, get further help
  • follow up ... stay alert to ongoing needs / risk 

Keep safe

  • Focus on safety first
  • Encourage no self harm
  • Look out for your safety and safety of others

Avoid

  • ‘Quick fixes’ & ‘cheer up’ advice
  • Telling them not to worry
  • Drinking to avoid the pain

Promise support not secrecy ...stay involved … get help from others

Download a printable version (pdf) of these Helping tips here.

Offering to help your mate

Often people think that they can handle the situation, or that they should be able to. They might also worry that others will think less of them. You can be a mate and let them know how common their problem actually is, and that you are here to help.

What to say

What can you say to your mate in this situation? Here are some ideas:

  • “You know I've noticed that you've seemed really down/worried/stressed for a long time now. Is there anyone you've been able to talk to about it?”
  • “I hate to see you struggling on your own. There are people that can help (make a few suggestions)"
  • “You would get expert help if (your computer crashed/your house needed rewiring etc) and you didn't know how to do it yourself. This is the same thing.”
  • “Lots of people go through this sort of thing. Getting help will make it easier.”
  • “I know I would like some help if were going through something like this”
  • “When I/someone I know went through something like this I/they got help from…”
  • “Have you thought about visiting your doctor?”